This is Mr. Bones.
He’s a new student.
This is Turk.
Turk is also new to BWL.
He and Mr. Bones just transferred here
from a school in the suburbs without a science curriculum.

On their first double period of Science class,
Mr. Bones and Turk were given a sheet explaining
the dangers encountered in lab,
like acid monsters and pipette tips going rogue,
as well as safety procedures to follow
to avoid angering the gods of Chemistry, Physics and Bio.

Both students got the paper signed by their parents,
but Turk chose not to read the sheet
because it was boring and contained phrases like:

20120808-105142.jpg These are goggles.
They protect your eyes from chemicals.
Goggles should be worn at all times during lab,
and placed so firmly on the face that when removed,
they leave a red suction mark that looks like
an octopus was sucking out your eyeballs.
It is now the first day of experimenting,
and Mr. Bones came prepared.
He is sporting a fine pair of googles
coupled with a fashionable apron and gloves to match.
Notice how his hair is tied back
and he has no dangling jewelry
hanging from his neck or wrists.
If we look over at Turk,
we see he he did not
heed the teacher’s instructions.
He is now on fire.

Always follow safety procedures, lest you end up like Turk.

“But,” you may say, “what if an accident occurs?”
Glad you asked.

For minor accidents:

We have a first aid kit equipped to treat minor cuts and burns. 20120806-144807.jpg
There are also dry chemical fire extinguishers located in each of the science rooms. They are able to extinguish Category A (trash, wood, paper), B (flammable liquids) and C (electrical) fires. To use effectively, employ the PASS method:
-Pull the pin
-Aim the nozzle
-Squeeze the lever
-Sweep the nozzle from side to side.

For more serious accidents:

We have a fire blanket, made of wool and treated with flame retardant fluid. It is designed to extinguish small fires by cutting off their supply of oxygen. It is either placed on top of/wrapped around a burning object to smother the flames. 20120806-145002.jpg
You’ll find an emergency shower in room 65 (not for hygiene). This is employed when someone’s body is exposed to hazardous chemicals. To use, simply pull the triangular handle. Remove contaminated clothes and shoes and wash the affected area for at least 15 minutes. 20120806-144913.jpg
There is an eye wash in rooms 61 and 65 designed to flush chemicals that get into the eyes. To use, remove the yellow stoppers, turn on the faucet and pull the button behind the spout. Flush eyes for at least 15 minutes. 20120806-144729.jpg
We also have a phone to get medical attention if needed. 20120806-144836.jpg

And finally, on a serious note, always let a faculty member know if you’re injured. Please don’t hesitate to ask for treatment; we care more about keeping you healthy than how clumsy you are.